My Cossie, circa Feb 2004

[cozmeister]

For those that haven't actually seen how bent my Cossie was in 2004, here it is.

It was a sad sight when it happened, and I wince every time I see another bent Cossie.  February the 14th 2004 was a sad day - and will stick with me for a long time.  As it was Valentine's day, I asked Jo to drive us to Bury, only 11 miles, so we could spend the day together away from everything.

Unlike some bent Cossies, this wasn't due to the driver arsing about, or driving beyond their limits, or showing their mates how the boost kicks in mid-corner.  Jo's a 'cautious' driver at the best of times, and on that day, she was driving like she was on a test - immaculately.

What you see below is the result of being caught out by an evil conspiracy of rain, adverse road camber and mud (left by sugar beet lorries that cut corners and are not sealed properly) - no-one could've gotten away with anything less.  On the same stretch of road, in the same drizzly conditions, several very different vehicles had very similar incidents within the same WEEK.  The general concensus is that if there were a gravel trap, British Sugar wouldn't have so many insurance claims to deal with.

The damage was caused first by the rear wing bouncing off a concrete post (after arriving at the fence sideways), which half spun the car.  Momentum carried the car through three concrete posts, destroying those and a chainlink fence as it went.  Given the choice, I'd have sooner been in a steel Sierra than the plastic efforts of modern motor manufacture.  I know I'm safe in my Saff.

We both got out unscathed, both just as shaken as each other.  The front bumper had been ripped off and rolled over - it was underneath the car.  Various other pieces of broken Sierra were scattered around.

Just by chance (as everytime I happen to be near a crashed car in Bury) a lone female police officer passed by and got out to see what was happening.  I got a mouthful of condascending abuse "they're powerful cars you know" - my reply was "I know, that's why I bought it!".  As soon as Jo said that she had actually put it there, the officer became all sympathetic.  Hows that for stereotyping?  As no-one else was involved, she said there's nothing the Police would, or needed to do, so she left.

Soon, a very nice chap and his wife in their Landcruiser stopped to ask if they could help.  I asked if he could pull the Cossie out and off of the fence so it would be easier to recover later. With a lot of scratching and crunching the Landcruiser did the business (a damn sight better than the recovery truck did - it burnt one of the winches out!!).  As he was pulling, I just saw the wing mirror about to be ripped off by the barbed wire that was wrapped around it - I untangled that, slipped and fell onto the barbed wire that was on the ground.  By now I was completely numb, so didn't feel anything.  The chain link fence had peeled the front wing back like a  corned beef tin - the pictures only show it after it was squashed down.  We thanked them for stopping and helping, and they went on their way.

When Jo called Admiral to be recovered, they said 'It's Sunday - just leave it there, we'll pick you two up, then we'll go and get the car tomorrow'.  Lick f**k was that going to happen!  After half an hour arguing with them on the phone, she managed to get them to recover it back to Jo's place.  Don't bother talking to Admiral for cheaper car insurance - they're f**king useless when it comes to using them.

The next to arrive on the scene (again, 'just passing by') was the factory's health and safety officer.  No sympathy or empathy; didn't want to know if everyone was OK or alive, just wanted to know "Who's going to pay for the repairs to the fence?" and "Every week there's another accident like this here, why can't people stay on the road?  It makes more work for me!".    He's lucky I didn't talk to him because I wouldn't have had anything pleasant to say, apart from "Maybe there's an underlying symptom that YOU need to investigate seens as YOU want it sorting."

When the recovery wagon arrived, the driver was naturally reluctant to drive it onto the sopping grass as it'd never get off again.  So he strapped a secondary winch to the front towing hook.  And ripped it off.  Then he looped it around the front crossmember and took up the slack.  There was some movement and then  a burning smell.  The winch was smouldering!  So he unhooked that and managed to get the Cossie on the back of the wagon with the main winch.

It was a long and sad day, and the following months sucked because I had no RS, but took some comfort knowing it was going to be back one day!  I'm proud that my RS was saved, so if you don't like it, and think it should have been straight off to a breakers, then tough tit - it's here and I'm proud of it.

[tabetha]

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[Paul FRS]

I actually drove past on that day. It was not a pretty site seeing a cossie tangled up in the fence!

[RST-Steve]

Wow!!! 

You've told us what happened in the past, but i still wouldn't have guessed it was as badly damaged as that!!! .... Looks like you were both really lucky to get out of that in one piece!!

All credit has to go to you for getting it back on the road Chris, many people wouldn't have bothered i'm sure! 

[matt]

It really did take a good hit at the front, i never relised it was that bad

[Nash]

As Paul said we drove past that day never realised it was yours. Thats 3 Cossies i have seen through that fence in 4 years.

[tabetha]

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[Daz-cos]

wow didnt think it was anywhere near as bad as that!!! total respect for bringing it literally back from the dead!!!

[cozmeister]

Thanks peeps

This instalment starts when it was taken away to be assessed.  Admiral were adamant that it had to be taken away to be assessed - why that was easier than one man driving to see it is beyond me, and helped put me in the firm belief that cars aren't taken to be assessed, they're taken to be valued for auction.

As I was at work, and it was at my other half's place, there wasn't a great deal I could do when it was taken.  Suffice to say, abject muppets collected it. 

For a start, as you can see, the front chassis rail crossmember has a great big V in it, where the concrete posts did their worst.  This crushed the rad, and pushed it onto the pulleys and belts behind.  The aux belts were inside out (somehow) and as everything was compressed, would any of you try starting the engine?

Neither would I, but the moron recovery expert thought he'd save himself the effort of hooking the winch up and drive it on the wagon.  Twat.

First the pillock couldn't start it - what happens to an EFI Ford when it gets a decent bump?  Yep - the fuel shutoff latches so the pump can't deposit fuel all over a hot engine.  So after this plum didn't realise this, he managed to start and run it on what fuel was left in the rail.  Apparently it was horrendous to hear...

Once Laurel and Hardy had managed to drag my crippled Sierra onto their Moronmobile, the trolled off on their merry way to 'assess' the damage.  Why they couldn't have saved theirselves the effort and just said 'it's knackered' where it was, we'll never know.

Days later Jo gets a phone call from P&R Coachworks aka Right-offs'R'Us, stating the obvious.  As far as they were concerned, it was an irrecoverable wreck and weren't willing to return it because they said so.  However, they did make an effort and offer me ?500 for it.  Whatever.  Professionals at work, eh?

Now then.  Suffice to say, I wasn't happy with that at all.  I wanted a second opinion, and my car back.  P&R said they wouldn't possibly consider repairing it because of its age, despite fancying doing it for themselves and offering me a handful of Magic Beans to nob off and forget about it.  So could I have it back?  No.  We say it's a wreck, therefore its ours.

So we had a word with our friendly insurer.  Admiral were pretty pass? about it - if the assessor says its junk, its junk.  Hmmm....a neat little enterprise is unfolding here...  So what if we cancel the claim to repair it, thus defeating the assessor's assessment because its then out of their hands?  Oh, yeh that's fine - you can do what you want if you cancel the claim.  OK, we'll do that then.  Job done.

But it wasn't...

P&R were having none of it - they had at least 3 grands worth of Cossie (whole, or in spares) sitting in their yard, with a relatively cheap fix to get it roadworthy (well, 'look' roadworthy) and sell on for a tidy profit - spend 50 quid on diesel to collect a car, 5 minutes to fill in the paperwork, and sell it for 3 grand, or keep it - job done.  But, equally, I (and Jo) was having none of that.

After putting in a complaint against P&R with Admiral, and threatening a court action case of theft and gross misconduct if we didn't get it back - along with mentioning the 'offer' we got, we eventually got it unceremoniously dumped back on the drive from whence it came.  And guess what - Laurel (probably left Hardy sleeping in the cab) started it and reversed it onto the drive.  When confronted with a very irate Jo quite rightly telling him that he'll wreck the engine, his reply was simply "Aint my problem love."  Cock.

Next week's thrilling installment: A real assessment, by an honest bloke

[tabetha]

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[RST-Steve]

When confronted with a very irate Jo quite rightly telling him that he'll wreck the engine, his reply was simply "Aint my problem love."  Cock.

What a total, 100% f**king w***er!!!!!!!!!!!!  Some people really do not have a clue!!!!!!! I'm no mechanic, but even i would know that running that engine would end up probably destroying it!!! 

Reading through all that tho, its seems a real result you got your car back at all!!

... overall, yet another exapmle of how stupid the insurance world can be!!!

[Kevin B]

Didn't realise any of the above had happened, certainly wopuldn't have guesssed it from looking at it   

It just makes you wonder why we bother paying an extortionate amount for insurance when they are allowed to treat you like this, and you are powerless to do anything about it   

As for the c*** that replied "not my problem"... gggrrrhhh don't get me started!!!